‘Racking and Packing’ – Our Last Night in LA

Thrust aside all the bullshit you hear about Vegas and it’s accessibility to drugos. Let me tell you something, it’s not easy and even then, the quality is shit. If you’re a female, you’re pretty much fucked cause firstly, everyone thinks you’re a cop and secondly, everyone’s paranoid about being busted by an undercover cop. If you want to see some snow and not crushed up Tylenol while you’re in the desert, score it in Los Angeles and drive those 3-4 hours to sunny Nevada.

Which isn’t what we did because we got the coke waaaaaaay after we left Vegas. Yeah, we got it from the guy we were renting our accommodation from.

I’ll take it from the top.

Our landlord made a habit of dropping by unannounced from the get go. I don’t know whether it was our charming dingo accents or that we were his youngest renters in a while, he loved spending time chain smoking in our (well, his) house.

So anyway one morning he barged in unannounced, high on Adderall and having not slept in two days, with a manic gleam in his eye. After rambling for roughly 10 minutes about some new music he was working on (struggling artist making actual money off renting out his house in LA) he turned to face me with an uneasy expression. My friend turned to whisper in my ear, ‘You have shit in your nose,’ referring to a rather large, round ball of snot that had clung to the edge of my nostril. I embarrassedly excused myself from the room and withdrew to the bathroom to sort my shit out.

Turns out, our landlord thought the booger was cocaine and that I was standing there at 10 am in the morning, with no pants on, snorting enough to leave large residue everywhere. He then asked my friend whether we wanted more to which my friend promptly responded yes, happily going along with the charade. About $50 USD for 1 gram – context, it’s about $400 USD in Australia. Proper good shit too. Find the artist, secure the rock.


So we spent our last night blowing through this little bag of coco and packing all 150 bags of shopping we had done into our luggage, ready to head back down under. Needless to say, nobody slept until our flight the next day at 7pm.

Knocked out on the flight home.


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